On Deeper Intimacy

What is more intimate than sex?

Some of us come from families where the word sex is a taboo. The mention of this word is an elephant in the room. It attracts glances from everyone as if the very utter can bring curses upon all who hear it. However, as Randy Paasch said, “When there is an elephant in the room, introduce him.”

Sex in itself is as intimate as anyone can imagine: Its thrill, its excitement, the bonding of flesh in whatever isolated place you pick to enjoy it. Sometimes it brings an indescribable high and afterwards an inevitable low. Other times, a gnawing feeling of emptiness that threatens to question your life decisions up to that point ensues.

Don't get me wrong, though, with the right person at the right time the euphoria is overwhelming. To some who aren't prepared for it, one-sided emotions develop and with them comes an internal struggle. Am I not good enough? Did I mess up? This ends up affecting other aspects of one's life. (Oops, I almost forgot what this was about. This will be a story for another day). What I want to address is that which is more intimate than sex. Well, for those of you who guessed love, give yourself a pat on the back and for those still in question, yes, love is more intimate than sex.

You may remember that as a child, the world was small and confined to your wants and how to get them. Our ignorance as children was truly bliss; a toy could keep us satisfied for a while, at least until it broke and we set our sights on a new toy. As we grow up, our scopes widen and our emotions become more complex. We start to seek human attention. We want to feel important. We want to be known. We want to be loved. What is love, you may ask? Love is finding someone whose happiness you find pleasure in, when that becomes more important than finding your own. (Sounds like something straight from a movie, huh?).

I also didn't believe in any of that, but that changed. I found someone I loved so deeply it made me question why I didn't find her sooner. That's the thing, ladies and gentlemen, you can never know when it will happen. You stumble upon it and it is like nothing you have ever known. You share each other's thoughts, emotions, feelings, secrets, you name it. You get naked before your significant other in a deeper sense than just taking off your garments.

That is what I find more intimate than sex. Is it scary? Hell yes. I have never been more vulnerable in my life. I always prided myself in how I took everything nonchalantly, then without warning someone waltzed into my life and tore down all the walls I built with ease and unleashed feelings in me I didn't know I could even have. The way someone intrudes in your life like that is almost rude. (I say that on a light note).

Just imagine having another half, someone who can very well change your moods with one statement, one who leaves you pondering over their words, who crushes you by the sheer enormity of your feelings. Love is a combination of respect, friendship, and trust. This love will consume you with a violent rage and in time change the very person you thought you were.

For those assuring themselves it won't happen, hold your horses and prepare for that intense intimacy. Your life will intertwine so tightly with another human being that you can't bear being away from them for long. Some may think that once you find this, it will be a Disney love story. Change your mindsets; there are a number of things that Disney fairy tales don't show: The late nights where she needs a shoulder to cry on, the moments when you have to lower your manly ego and be there for her, the times when you will have to travel uncharted territory with no map.

Many instances have arisen for me where I felt like this and the confusion was unparalleled. Her sadness is my sadness and vice versa. I'm not saying don't go falling in love-I'm saying don't go doing it unprepared. Don't go and toy with another’s emotions just for the kicks. Karma is definitely a bitch, and it will be her mission to teach you a lesson. Be ready to sacrifice a part of your being and to trust another person with your heart. Prepare to be vulnerable.

Feel free to share your thoughts on it and past experiences in the comments below.

0 Comments

Add Comment

Comment added, awaiting admin approval.

About ONs

We are a family of young, curious, ambitious artists eager to articulate pertinent issues across all topics. Join us as we tell you stories that make a difference.