On The Kokota Tales
Nitaambia Nini Watu??!
I have always been an ardent Dj Shiti fan. I have all his videos joyfully playing in every corner of my gallery. I have also mastered his unique sound technique, for fear of calling it an accent, for an accent is mediocre, all slay queens can fake it. Anything that slay queens can fake is mediocre. But never in my brighter days of exhaling his comedy out of my lungs had I ever thought that one day, his utterances would precisely fit my situation. I was a happy fan until this day, when a celebrity Tanzanian Musician, or is it even singer? Decided to visit the home of Champions, in a cornerstone club, Eldoret Sports Club, in the petrol city of Eltret (Read Eldoret).
Sasa, the first time I set my dirty feet on the trampled soils of Eltret Sports club, I was a man in love. (FYI If you thought Harmonize Live was my first, Ayam sori.) I was on a mission to be the most romantic man on the entire deflated earth. I had this fine ghel, with a bewitching gap between her incisors, that always helped me peep into a future where taps overflow with honey and the sun shines bright with rays of love, whenever I looked at her. She has always been a mad Nyashinski follower, like who doesn't like Nyash? So, when our only bitter option, Safcom Wezi, brought him to her hometown, yours truly had to take her to see her Idol. Now, let's come back to this Harmful Harmonize, Sawa?
The second time I set my dirty feet on the trampled soils of Eltret sports club, I was a lonely man. I was on a mission to inject creativity to my otherwise boring life. I had heard it from all over, it being advertised over the hills and everywhere, that one of the clean kings of Bongo music, would be performing live on a ground I scored a few points on being romantic, a long time ago. I was in dire starvation of excitement, simply because my routine balanced diet revolves around adding views on people's WhatsApp statuses, playing candy crush and sticking chewing gums on cold lecture hall seats. The event was the only available prescription, and yours truly had no option to pay for the drug, by buying a veery veery expensive ticket.
With the vibrancy of a class five pupil in Baringo, on the eve of a school trip to Mombasa, I walked into Eltret sports club an expectant writer. Pregnant with hopes, anticipation, anxiety and fear, all in a brewed concoction, that couldn't just allow me to behave normally. The show was scheduled to begin at 6pm, but being the cursed Africans we are, it began somewhere around 8 pm. Apologies for not having the correct time, my phone was tucked inside my left thigh, a preventive measure against phone thieves. It was bold at the beginning, with a promise of a beautiful ending as the show progressed. If only we knew...
As the clock ticked, the numerous MCs present began rationing the name Harmonize in their subsequent utterances. They began to occasionally invoke the name to energize the crowd after curtain-raising performances by upcoming artists. It then proceeded to the sponsors thanking a lot of names of people we did not have any idea why they were being mentioned. It is then that the crowd first began chanting "Harmonize! Harmonize!" It is then that I first saw the red light about this event.
Being a man on a mission to inject creativity to my otherwise boring life, I stayed behind not only to be the infamous eye witness, but also to bring you this scintillating tale. The crowd was then cooled by a crippled excuse ati a car's headlight, visible at the gate, was the clean guy majestically making his way. Where and how people reignited their lost enthusiasm and energy, will remain to be my research case study for a PhD of which until then, I know nothing. People began doing shaku shaku, odi odi and akwaba dance all at once. The air was now fully charged with excitement, the peak of it all had finally arrived.
The loud-mouthed MCs did their thing to ensure the crowd made some noise for Harmonize. We screamed with our hearts and lungs out hoping that he would probably listen to the longing in our voices. We had been standing for long, it was past midnight by then. After a hype session, followed by another hype session, and another hype session, Harmonize never appeared. The lame excuse then was that they were waiting for his Dj to appear. They were so confident in telling the lie that they shouted with the microphone at its max volume. It was almost 3 am, and we were not kindergarten kids to be tricked by petty lies like the Dj is dressing, for a whole one hour. Kwani was it a fashion show? Hell then, broke loose.
It began with people sending metallic cans towards the stage with a calculated velocity. A calculated velocity means it squarely landed on anyone on the stage, with or without a mic, yapping loud or mouth closed mmmm. One MC tried to help the situation by a text message. The crowd was now deaf with people shouting insults, screams and the value of the tickets in unison that it appeared as frogs singing in an SDA choir. More and more cans were sent at a calculated velocity, more and more heads were hit, and within no time the stage was evacuated. The action seemed to anger the VIP section more as instead of cans, they now sent chairs flying in the hopeless air.
Well, hell hath no fury like a partygoer conned. The party stable network switched into a flight mode. Screams of "Mwizi! mwizi", "Simu Yangu" and "Sojaaa Tumeibiwa" ruled the airwaves. People were scampering left for safety for nobody knew which location was right. Police officers patrolled the grounds with a look that said mischief was not entertained. Pickpockets had their Christmas early in November. Confusion reigned and I had to sign out, for the situation was getting out of hand.
As I was exiting, taking a boda-boda to my safest location, a guy shouted in a voice heavily laden with anger. His words numbed the entire crowd as it plunged them to observe an unavoidable minute of silence. I had achieved my goal, I had injected creativity to my boring life. I don't know about other fans, Promoters, or even Harmonize Himuselfu. His utterances are what made us all realize so much, in a minute.
He simply said, "Nitaambia Nini watu?"
#LoudWhispers
The Kokota Tales
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